Saturday, November 14, 2009

Battlefield - 55 Fiction.

To people who are new to 55 Fiction. It is a genre of fiction writing using only 55 words. A story with only 55 words in it.

Here is my second offering in this genre titled 'Battlefield'

Hiding behind the rock all I could see was his cap. He is a human I was sure of that. He is firing at me I was aware of that.
"Why are the bullets flying?" we never asked.
My thoughts
"When will all this end...?" was abruptly halted when his bullet hit my head.


grace said...

Wonderful Harsha. Loved the lines-

"He is a human I was sure of that."
'"Why are the bullets flying?" we never asked.'

We recognize the human link but unfortunately thats where it ends.Rarely are we able to go that extra mile and reach out.

You are acing 55 fiction quite well.

Shahid Mukadam said...

I remember of a line from the movie Border,
when one tells the other that we need to kill the other soldier even if hes your brother because if u dont kill him then he will kill you....
so true

pra said...

Really nice one!

divsi said...

u re goin great guns at 55 fiction:) kip up the gud work!:)
very thotful this one..

Sorcerer said...

that was cool.. 55 words and you did well

Harsha Chittar said...

Thank you all for your Kind words. I still find 55 Fiction very hard to write. Hope I can find the comfort zone.

grace said...

Rays was struck by the last line -
""When will all this end...?" was abruptly halted when his bullet hit my head."
According to Rays it is very telling and perhaps the best way to end the fiction.

Anonymous said...

OH HELL>>or say OH second 55 fiction is also themed battle field...pperhaps i am a little late posting it...nice one..

NEEDless to mention read mine ;)

i am cheap..HUH!

BK Chowla said...

Very well written and you have expressed beautifully.

Nethra said...

Again a sad ending. :-/ Dude, try writing a happy ending. Anyways it was nice :)

Harsha Chittar said...

@Grace: I had three or four endings and couldn't choose, i finally struck with this one out of frustration. Good to know it was perfect:) a big tank you to Rays from me.
@frozen well:I read your story, good one my friend.
@Mr Chowla:Thank you very much, very glad to see you reading the stories.
@Nethra: It is a happy ending in a way, he is taken away from war and suffering. But i know what you meant. I will keep it my mind for my next post.

grace said...

Conveyed your thanks to Rays and good to know that your frustration has paid off well.

Guria said...

Your words hit back like the bullets! Hard-hitting 55! :)

Shas said...

U have hit the nail.
Very well-executed.